FIGHTING FAIR IN A RELATIONSHIP.

Whenever two people with different backgrounds, ideas, emotions, dreams, opinions and ideologies about life get together, there is bound to be conflict in one form or another. How often do you disagree with your partner?

Fights can emerge from anything and everything. You might wonder if it is healthy to fight;  Fights don’t mean you don’t love, respect or care for each other, they are actually an essential part of every relationship. Always note though that disagreements don’t always have to  end in a big fight or even a physical fight. If  the disagreement is getting very heated and you feel like you’re not finding a solution, you can put it on pause, take a walk and talk about it later.

During a disagreement these are the things to look out for;

1. Don’t hold grudges– Since your spouse brought up an issue, handle it carefully, don’t hold on to it and later on tell them you did the same because they too wronged you in the past. Communicating about it helps you grow your relationship to other levels.

2. Address the issues on time– If there is one thing that I have learned is to address pressing matters when they come up. That helps not to be bitter about something which could have been avoided as soon as it happened, don’t postpone that conversation.

3. No winner or loser– “You win!” Should never come up in a disagreement. This means you were focused on who is right only and not the actual mistake that was made and this might make your partner feel inferior to any other disagreement you might have.

4. Apologize when wrong– Say ‘’I’m sorry” and mean it. This is a show of owning up to your mistakes. If you’ve figured you were on the wrong and know for sure an apology is in order, make a point of letting your partner know. Avoid saying, “I’m sorry if you think I hurt your feelings.” It’s never genuine!

5. No violence– Violence has NEVER been a solution to any disagreement. If you cannot come to an understanding with your significant other, talk to them once the situation has cooled down.

6. Seek professional help– There is no problem in having a middle person, someone who is neutral might see the issue from a different point and make you understand what was difficult or what you didn’t want to acknowledge.

7. Don’t assume things– Be factual, he/she said should never be the point of your arguments.

Above all pray for your relationship. God can help you reconcile your troubles.

When fighting remember to be respectful, this is your partner who you love and respect. You’re fighting the issue, not

 your partner.