DATING ETIQUETTE

I don’t think there’s some kind of dating rule book out there, but there ought to be some dating guidelines; unwritten guidelines that keep you from making a complete fool of yourself in the presence of your crush and ruining all your chances. I tend to think of dating as sea food; it’s not something one likes instantly, rather an acquired taste. And that’s sort of the whole point of dating – to acquire a taste for a particular person above all others. With that in mind, I doubt shoving all kinds of sea food down a first timer’s throat will make any significant impact on them except distaste. Apply the same to dating. I’ll give you context.

You meet someone you have a liking to, and you start talking. Honesty is always encouraged but I don’t think being on your worst behavior in the early days is the best form of honesty. The idea of dating is to get someone to appreciate you for your best qualities and learn, in snackable bits, about your worst, so they can make the informed decision on whether you are the sort of person they want to be involved with. If all your worst behavior comes out during the early days, there’s a very high likelihood you will never see that person in a romantic setting ever again. Well, not with you at least. You will have effectively ended that relationship even before it begins. Doesn’t matter whether you’re just in the talking stage or you’ve finally met over a beverage or meal. That’s that.

Problem is, no one wants to be patient with anyone anymore anyway. So the idea is to know enough about a person, just enough to convince them they want to have sex with you. That’s when we lose the plot and go totally off course. No redemption. And as soon as physical intimacy is no longer an option, the interest quickly fizzles out and back to square one. It doesn’t have to be like this. Politeness, courtesy and genuine interest in another human being besides yourself greatly improves one’s people skills and it honestly helps you in knowing yourself better. Sometimes some people don’t think they have a problem until someone else points it out then they either fix it or not. In dating, listen. Pay attention. Be on your best behavior, but don’t adopt an entire alter ego just so you can impress your crush. Treat dating like sea food; try a little at a time, over time.