DIGITAL LUST

I love the internet; it’s my source of information, knowledge, opportunities and of course, my one stop shop for creeps and weirdos looking to score a night of passion. No, not necessarily Tinder (I abhor the app!) but just the good old internet. Twitter, Instagram, my personal blog and email. As long as my photo appears on any of these sites, it’s fair game for them to come hunting. They don’t even need to know my name; just one look at my zoomed in photo and I becomes the only mission.

Previously, finding love or lust required people to go out and physically meet people, which meant that we had to be on our best behavior. You know, polish your speech, iron your clothes, take a shower, wear some lotion and lip balm so your skin and lips are not ashy, wear some deodorant and generally not look like a Neanderthal. Lately, however, all one needs is an Internet connection; everything else is thrown out with the trash. So it either starts with a selfie, goes down in the DM or you just swipe right. Doesn’t really matter; people are getting laid either way.

My issue with this digital era love is the lack of decorum; someone’s house might be ground zero for breeding rats and cockroaches, yet at the first opportunity to meet a girl, they act like neat is their middle name. As if that’s not enough, guys will go the extra mile and adopt an entire online persona just to get girls which is a far cry from who they are in real life. Of course, on our part, we have filters and photoshop so we’re not entirely blameless in this digital charade. It’s all very exhausting, to be quite honest. Being two different people online and offline, just for the opportunity to meet someone and maybe sleep with them.

We really ought to go back and meet people the old fashioned way; remember back when people took some form of interest in the way they presented themselves, took daily showers and had their homes cleaned at least once a week? Yeah, those were the good old days. It would be nice to know you’re talking to someone who is at least interested in knowing your name and can probably invite you to his humble but neat abode, instead of hiding out in an entire animal habitat and only cleaning up (sometimes poorly) when you show the slightest interest. Maybe we should altogether refrain from looking for love or lust online and go somewhere; like church or something. Learn to talk to people, even.