YOU DON’T KNOW MY NAME…

In my many adventures during my 20s, I once met a guy who was loud and obnoxious. Alcohol probably played a role in his disposition at the time. Fast forward to a bright morning somewhere in Lavington, I ran into him again. Out of courtesy, I said hello. He asked me what I was up to and if he could take me to lunch. Since my meeting was over, I didn’t see why not. We got into his car and headed to Jiko at D2. On the way there, my dress (which was just above my knee) rode up my thighs just a little. The man started salivating, quite literally, and begged to spend the afternoon between my thighs there and then. Here’s the catch though; he didn’t even remember me or my name! He confessed to indulging me simply because I’m a gorgeous woman!

What is the moral of this little story? Gentlemen, before you try to get between someone’s daughter’s thighs, at the very least, try to get to know her. You don’t have to delve deep into her history, dreams, ambitions, hopes and fears. Start with the basics – her name. Ironically that was not the first time something like that happened to me; it happened in Kampala too and that time I was in a pants suit so you can neither blame it on my dressing (shame on you, child!) nor my intent. I just wanted to eat a nice meal and have a nice bottle of wine. That was all. But no… guys stay jumping straight into the deep end. That’s okay, but do the work first. Ask for a name. Have a bit of conversation. Swim in the shallow end a little. Then proceed to the deep end.

I admire guys who continually shoot their shots even when it seems hopeless – that means they are not afraid of failure and have the emotional intelligence to deal with rejection. I don’t mean this with one person though; there is a very fine line between persistence and good old badgering. Persistence usually starts showing signs of positive encouragement from the recipient of such attention, while the latter shows irritation, nagging and general discomfort. Know the difference and know when to stop pushing, as well as when to accept defeat and charter an alternative route. Just in case you’re wondering, no, I did not have lunch with that guy and no, I didn’t have sexual relations with him either. Not knowing my name yet expressing interest in me sexually is offensive.