FEMINISM BEGINS AT HOME

See what I did there? In a recent interview with Trevor Noah on The Daily Show, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie – one of the leading global feminists of our time – was asked why most people consider feminism as a negative thing. Her response to this was like music to my ears; she mentioned two things that I wish to highlight in this post. One of them is that feminism has long been associated with the most extreme versions of it. And the other is that instead of identifying as a humanist or equalist, she prefers to identify as a feminist because that is what feminism is about. The problem is that women are excluded therefore being a feminist gives a name to the problem – the exclusion of women.

When you get online and read views by feminists, it’s mostly terrifying. Most of the feminist views that go viral are the extremist type and unfortunately that’s how we are all categorized. Boxed up and labeled as angry, bitter, sexless and unlovable lesbians who don’t shave and thrive in male bashing. In a society where men have for generations excluded women from living as their equals, we are suddenly radicalized for taking our power back and shaking the table of men. They don’t like it. We are disturbing the calm surface of the ocean so they find ways to shut us down and out, put us back in the places where we are less significant and can’t be heard. But no… we are here to stay and when we are gone, our sons and daughters will continue the work because this world is ours – men and women, and we all have a claim to it.

In raising and being feminist, a lot of the work has to be done by men. Men need to participate because unfortunately men rarely ever listen to women but men are more likely to listen to men. If women change and men don’t, then it makes no sense because we share the world. So the participation of men in feminism, which is equality and justice for both sexes, is important. Barack Obama is one such man; he is feminist and he occupied the most powerful office in the world for eight years. If men need more chest thumping than that they should probably relocate to the jungle. Get this clear, being a feminist does not make men any less manly; it makes them human and in pursuit of justice and equality for both sexes. Men should be feminists, it’s cool to be a feminist. Ask Michelle Obama – she is married to one.

People (read men) are afraid of powerful women or women seeking power, therefore one way to temper that is to describe them in a domestic role. Something less intimidating. This is a direct result of gender roles. Diminish the woman and take over everything – that has never been the intention of the natural order. Even without the tools or symbols of power, women are powerful by simply being women. It makes no sense to diminish women using gender roles because we all know, in a world without women, men would have self destructed and been extinct long before now. Labeling feminism as extremist and radical is escapist and cowardly. Saying feminism is exclusive to women is pigeonholed – feminism and femininity are not mutually exclusive. If you’re wondering how you, as a man, can be a feminist too, start by thinking of your individualism. The things that hurt or cause you injustice are the same things that affect and malign women. Shake the table.