FIRST IMPRESSIONS

Good grooming is actually a thing that both men and women must adhere to. Yes, I emphasize that both MEN and women must adhere to good grooming. This article is specifically dedicated to the men who think good grooming is either for women or metrosexual / gay men. That’s a lie. Good grooming is for people who care for their bodies and their appearance. After all, we are all categorized in the first nine seconds of meeting new people. In this dynamic world we live in, one must always look good. You never know who you’re going to meet.

Listen guys, taking a daily shower is not going to kill you. There’s no such thing as a natural masculine scent; smelling like a he-goat early in the morning screams nothing about your masculinity apart from poor hygiene. Take a shower, brush your teeth, wash your face, apply lotion and deodorant. Don’t walk around smelling like last month’s boozy sweat and call that manly. That’s gross. Also, invest in nail clippers or razor blades. If you can’t stand getting your hands and feet manicured and pedicured, do it yourself! What business has a man with long fingernails and alligator claws for toes? And what’s with that single long pinky nail anyway? Keep them all short and neat! Men, you must also invest in lip balm. I don’t think the makers of lip balm for men had only the metros and the gays in mind as their target group, they had MEN in mind. You are the target. There’s nothing wrong with moisturized lips that are not peeling, but there’s everything wrong with ashy, cracked lips. Don’t expect to be kissing anyone with those. Remember to hydrate (drink water, I mean) too. Water is life!

First impressions matter, and unfortunately the way we present ourselves is a key determinant of the first impressions we leave. If you look like a disheveled crack cocaine addict, that’s what you’ll be remembered as. If you look like a well put together lad, that’s how you’ll be remembered. It’s no wonder most of you can’t get girls; you’re out here walking around looking and smelling like Tyrone Biggum and expecting to get yourself a Huddah or Akothee (yes, Akothee because never in the history of grooming has she ever not looked the part and her black is beautiful!) No brother, groom yourself. Take keen interest in the clothes you wear, your personal hygiene and your general appearance. After all, you want to be remembered as a well put together lad, right? It doesn’t cost much to be well groomed. One last thing, trim your nasal hairs. Them poking out of your nostrils in every direction is so gross!