GUYS, EAT YOUR VEGGIES!

I’m about to address some questions that have been asked and the same questions have made some men think others are… well… superhuman. How long should one round of sex last? How do the people who last more than half an hour per round do it? How don’t they get tired? What planet are they from? Is this stuff even real? I am here to confirm that yes, this IS real and achievable, and there are men that last more than half an hour during one round of sex. Some men even last up to ninety minutes or more. Yes, that’s an entire soccer game plus extra time and penalties.

I’ve got the cheat codes, guys. Watch and learn. You are what you eat. Quite literally. Junk food, consumption of copious amounts of alcohol, smoking cigarettes, not drinking enough water, not eating fruits and vegetables daily and staying fit are some of the major reasons why most of you can’t last more than ten minutes. You’ll find most guys are on a steady diet of pizza, soda and alcohol yet complain when they’re told they can’t last long enough to give a woman an orgasm. Which is quite disappointing, because as a woman, if you’ve been taking good care of yourself and are well lubricated when you get to bed, a two and a half minute performance is very insulting. Then comes the most important sexual organ, the brain. It all starts there. If you’ve been eating balanced meals, hydrating regularly and have had this particular person in mind for a while, when the penny drops you better get your head in the game. The one atop your shoulders. Visualize and imagine what it’ll be like to finally get with that person you’ve been hoping to get with and start to get your mind (and hers) there. Lay the ground work from as early as the morning. Set the mood. Get your mind and hers into it, before you put your back into it. Think of it as marinating steak for dinner; the flavors will be a lot more explosive and the steak a lot more succulent if you marinate it from morning. Marinate your minds.

Getting these ducks in a row will obviously improve your sex life. Of course, I don’t expect you to pay for a twelve month gym subscription right away; you could simply start by taking regular walks. If your schedule and budget allows, try jogging at least four times weekly and check YouTube for work out routines you can do in the comfort of your home. Sure, you can still go ahead and eat all the burgers you want, but instead of fries, perhaps have a salad with that and wash it down with fresh juice instead of soda or beer. Then keep a clear mind if you wish to lay the pipe down like the law; if alcohol must be involved (people get nervous), keep it to a minimum. And lastly, personal hygiene. You know the drill; take showers, keep your pubic area neat and clean, brush your teeth, moisturize your skin, use lip balm because women really don’t like kissing cracked lips.

You’re welcome.