LOVE’S BITTER PILLS

Oscar Wilde famously said that the truth is rarely pure and never simple. When we get into relationships, we swear that we want to be told the truth at all times no matter how ugly it is. Then when we’re actually told the truth, we get upset, become psychotic or even break up the relationship because we can’t handle the truth after all. And it’s tragic that this is, more often than not, the outcome of being told the truth and our catastrophic inability to handle it.

Truth hurts. More than the lies we purportedly tell our loved ones “to protect them” mostly because the truth is the confirmation of what might have been a suspicion or gut feeling. Why do we want the truth yet are unable to handle it when served? Your guess is as good as mine. However I suspect it stems from a generational lack of integrity that is carried forward, be it in personal or professional dealings. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, after all.

In my opinion, I would truly much rather have the truth in all its bitterness instead of one sweet lie to keep me hoodwinked and comfortable. Because lies have a nasty habit of catching up with us and it gets increasingly difficult to keep spinning that web of lies to cover up the initial one. And when that web can’t be woven anymore, it all crumbles down like a house of cards. And you have to rebuild from scratch because whatever trust was there has been broken. With the truth, I am in a much better position to have my partner’s back and better equipped to stand with them. With lies, my resolve is shaky. With the truth, I appreciate my partner’s maturity, trust and respect for me. Lies show I’m not that important. And truth better informs me in dealing with the situation. Lies just keep covering up the symptoms and letting it fester. Before you know it, it all falls down.