MEN AND INSECURITY

Unpopular opinion: men are extremely insecure and they project their insecurities on their significant others. I’ll elucidate, with real life experiences. There was once a boy I knew, who liked me a lot, and in his mind I was going to be his wife. Little did he know that I was not about to get married again; well, I did tell him but he believed it in his bones that he could change my mind. So I watched him pursue an uninterested me just long enough to see him crash and burn. This one time, however, he was uncomfortable with me being in my male friend’s house – he was supremely convinced that it would inevitably end in sex. I chalked it down to his insecurity, because he was previously in the habit of sleeping with other people’s girlfriends and fiancées because it was convenient and uncomplicated for him.

I can bet my bottom dollar that there are many of you ladies who have experienced similar projections. Your man asks you to block your exes on all communication platforms yet behind your back, he is canoodling with any number of his (whether single or not) exes. I don’t know whether it’s an ego boost or just a way to convince themselves that they aren’t insecure or guilty of anything. I wonder how they do that. Is it scientific? Is it passed on from one generation to the next? I wish I were wired that way – just to better understand. Try mentioning insecurity to a man though, and you’ll see all the chest thumping King Kong did that may or may not turn into a guilt trip for you or a hilarious show of non existent emotional intelligence.

Lads, be honest with yourselves. You can’t honestly expect a woman to be the cause of your insecurities – you did all that by yourself. The choices you made messed with your self confidence, which eventually and inevitably led you down the insecure path. Take some time out to introspect. Look into yourself, find what’s broken and fix it. You won’t be of any good to anyone if you’re broken yourself, and not even aware of it. Or aware and ignoring it. It’s like ignoring a leak in your house; the leak will become a crack, and that single crack, if left to run deep, can bring the house down. Insecurity has never been a good look on anyone anyway.

“Learn this now and learn it well. Like a compass needle that points North, a man’s accusing finger always finds a woman. Always. Remember that.”

Be the exception to that rule.