SINGLE PARENT RELATIONSHIPS

As a single mother, there are some firm boundaries I have set for my future relationships. Specifically with regard to my son. I have a very clear goal in raising him, and I am deliberate in choosing the male company I keep with that goal in hindsight. Children are sponges and they learn best through example, so it’s pointless for me to preach water to my son and drink wine. He will definitely ask me why I’m drinking wine and not the water I preach to him, and expect I drink from the same Kool-Aid bowl as him. Examples. Kids are our mirrors. So when it comes to my romantic relationships, there are some standards I am simply not compromising just so I can have a man. Did that once and it didn’t end well.

By default, single parents are programmed to think of what’s best for their child / children first before themselves. Which means that every decision they make, Be it personal or professional, it must make sense to their offspring. So on many occasions, you will find that some single parents are labeled stand offish, uncompromising, rigid and all synonymous adjectives. Which is fine, really, because no one wishes mediocrity for their children. What I’m against is this idea that because a woman is a single mother, she should be grateful that a man is even paying attention to her. Motherhood is not a lifelong sentence, neither is it a deformity or disability. Au contraire, my friend. It is a display of strength and courage like no other.

You are under no pressure to date a single mother or father. Neither are they under any pressure to date you. It’s a choice. Respect them as parents, respect their children and respect the respect they have for their children. Don’t demonize it if you don’t understand it; either seek information or walk away. It’s really selfish for one to expect a single parent to dedicate more time to a romantic relationship that might be draining as opposed on spending it raising their offspring. I’m not saying a parent’s time is more important than any other human’s; I’m saying respect that they have something else to do with that time, like raising a whole human. Don’t waste it.

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