THE SUBTLE ART OF BEING NASTY

Everyone loves their nice served with a touch of nasty, am I right? Being nasty makes the recipient feel desired and naughty, and the nasty person basically opens up the doors to some extra love and affection from their partner. It’s that extra zing in everyone’s love life that is either missing or is too much that it becomes disgusting. It’s like when you’re texting with your girl and you randomly send a naughty video, and carry on with the conversation. That’s naughty in a nice way. It however becomes gross when you send a barrage of naughty videos (especially unsolicited ones) and all you ever seem to want to talk about is sex. After the first successful tryst, this might be acceptable. But a general rule of thumb is excess is gross and unattractive.

Being nasty is a subtle and delicate art; one must know when it’s too much or too little. Just like in the case of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, your nasty must be just right. One must also be skillful enough to introduce the nasty in the smoothest way possible, to avoid stumbling in like a klutz and ruining it for everyone involved. Slip that naughty statement into the conversation without being too obvious and keep it moving, that will earn you some extra brownie points and a glimmer in your partner’s eyes. Don’t you just love it when you suavely plant a seed that germinates and grows? Inception – the name of the game.

Our problem as a generation, however, is doing things in excess. Excessive drinking, smoking, partying, meaningless sex and of course, nasty in excess. That is not nasty. That is gross. If you over sexualize an innuendo, it loses its allure and becomes this gaping hole of brazenness being shoved down your target’s throat. That will lead you to the top of the block or ignore list, because you seemingly can not control your raging hormones. You know what that is reminiscent of? Adolescents. And no adult in the history of adulting has ever wanted to be compared to their adolescent self. So maybe tone it down a notch? Balance the nasty out with the nice, just like sugar and spice.